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Sight Screen

Friday, June 10, 2005

Can't bat, can't bowl... can write

The last time England won an Ashes series on Aussie soil marked a memorable debut. A debutant reporter for, if I remember right, The Telegraph started his series preview with this damning indictment of his team: Can't bat, can't bowl, can't field.
As it happened, England was all over the Aussies that time. Cue Martin Johnson's classic end of series wrap: Can't bat, can't bowl, can't field -- right line, wrong team.
If you like your Ashes diluted with some humor, here's Johnson's take on what is to come. Sample line:
If the old adage about sport going in cycles is correct, then England have spent the last 20 years on the type of cycle employed for circus clown entrances. "Parp! Parp!", and all the wheels fall off.

6 Comments:

  • Surely a very interesting read from Johnson. On the serious topic of the Ashes though, this series looks like it is going to go down as one of the toughest fought. I am looking forward to some exciting cricket from these 2 teams. I can't wait!!

    By Anonymous Sundeep Bhatia, at 11:41  

  • You think? I hope so, too, actually. Since this is the season for quoting Greg Chappell, he was the bloke who some time back said "Cricket has a problem. It canot afford to have any of the top nations down for too long - and to have two of them, England and the West Indies, down for more than 10 years is a very unhealthy state of affairs."
    Right, the game needs contests and there's the heck of a lot of fingers crossed, hoping for one here. Here's what I keep thinking though -- Harmison, Hoggard, Flintoff, Anderson, Giles (?).
    Against that, Hayden, Langer, Ponting, Martyn, um, who, Watson?, Gilchrist. Uh oh.

    By Blogger Prem Panicker, at 12:02  

  • You know, I have my fingers crossed too. Its a gut feeling that this series will be a good one. But you never know. The bowlers are going to have to be on the top of their game, and everyone needs to chip in. At the same time, I keep thinking what the approach of the English is going to be. Aggressive meets aggressive or are they going to hold back on their emotions? It will be interesting and I think that is going to be the most important factor in defying how this series is going to turn out. Your thoughts?

    By Anonymous Sundeep Bhatia, at 12:15  

  • I don't know why you guys feel this is going to be a good series. English media has this habit of going ga ga about their team before Ashes. Big deal. Who have they defeated? WI and SA? Do you guys even want to count B'desh? Out of question. Just a correction Prem, Anderson is not going to be in the touring party. Giles is injured. So who is it? Harmison is the only quality bowler in their side and we all know that he has more bad days thatn good ones. Flintoff is a bowling all-rounder and all he does is bang it short. Thats it. So who is going to get 20 wickets? And by the way 20 Australian wickets!! I predict a 3:0 win... I would like England to match the Aussies but ......

    By Anonymous Mayur, at 13:17  

  • Mayur, my bad.. bloody hell, this is looking worser and worser, as Alice would say. :-)

    By Blogger Prem Panicker, at 13:24  

  • Ok, let me get this; England has been beating weak sides like WI, RSA & NZ while the Aussies have been beating who? Strong teams from another planet?

    The sad truth is that apart from Australia, England, and (in spite of a recent dip of form)India, there are no Good Test teams around.

    Don't get me wrong. The Aussies are the number one team in the world by some distance, but lets not discount the English team. Let's give credit to them for winning 10 matches in a row at home, and 13 out of 18 games overall.

    Looking forward to the 21st of july! Let's hope I am not dissapointed.

    By Anonymous Saurabh wahi, at 13:38  

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