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Sight Screen

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Time-pass stuff

Got to go do some work -- figured I would, on my way out the door, toss up this piece I found in the Sydney Morning Herald, on the fun side of sledging.
What's your favorite? Mine is the one involving Dessie Haynes and Ravi Shastri, which I had posted on here during one of my early blog-posts (damn, I have to start perma-linking and indexing this thing, and add a site search).
Actually, Ravi was perhaps the one Indian who consistently gave back better than he got. Like the time Mike Whitney, on the field as substitute, fielded one of his trademark glances, made to throw down the stumps and yelled at Ravi, 'If you don't get back in that **^@*^@ crease I'll knock your %&%@&%&^@ head off!'. To which Ravi goes, 'Mike, if you could play as well as you can curse, you would be in the ^*^@*^&@ team.
Open forum, guys, while I go do an hour's worth of work -- favorite sledges, favorite comments, favorite quotes...? (Favorite quotes reminds me, remember the stories the other day about our physio Gloster saying yes Sachin should play with a lighter bat and then next day, turns out he didn't say any such thing? Puts me in mind of a comment Dennis Compton reportedly once made, while advocating lighter bats: Isn't it easier to swat a fly with a rolled up newspaper, than with a telephone directory?)
Right, back in a bit, let me go earn my keep.


  • Prem ji, Do you read minds or what ?? I was just going to request you to open such a discussion.

    By Anonymous SP, at 15:00  

  • I remember Sachin's humble, boyish question to Kadir(I think). Abdul Kadir started yelling,cursing at Sachin and Sachin kept creaming his bowling. After sometime, Sachin seems to have innocently asked Kadir, 'Kadir bhai! why do you yell? can't you see you are loosing your concentration!!'.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 15:00  

  • I liked the incident where (facts may be wrong) Rahul Darvid playing in SA was NO on 150+ and Allan Donald gave him a mouthful after he hit him a boundary. Rahul , cool cucumber as he is, looked at him and pointed to the Scoreboard to indicate that "my bat has talked enough". I also love the incident where Venky took big mouth Aamir's wicket - that was a classic. I think Aamir later did confess that his actions actually made him lose concentration.

    By Blogger @mit, at 15:21  

  • Another one - Just because Prem you said this was a Time pass - a joke which I heard yesterday and was laughing my heart out - Sourav's wife calls into the Dressing room during a Test match. Kaif picks it up and tells her that he just went in to bat. She replies - I will hold !!


    sorry - if you did not want too much timepass on this !

    By Blogger @mit, at 15:25  

  • The best sledges for me are those invloving Merv Hughes. Merv had great sense of Humor. There is one where he was teased by Miandad as 'Fat bus conductor', Big Merv came up with 'Ticket Please' after getting Miandad out.

    Then there is one incident with Viv Richards Where Viv Repeatedly sledged him for staring at him after delivering the bowl, Vis said something like 'Merv, this is my Island, my land and my people, so dont be starring at me, In my culture we just bowl'

    Big merv gets his wicket and comes up with the classic 'In my culture we say F**K O**' hahaha.

    By Anonymous SP, at 15:37  

  • Also Ian Healy's sledges aimed at Arjuna Ranatunga are classic as well. There is one particular incident when Warnie was getting ready to bowl to Arjuna, Healy quipped " Warnie, Put a Mars Bar on Good Length, and that should do it.' ;)

    By Anonymous SP, at 15:39  

  • Some that I love !!
    So how's your wife & my kids?
    (Rod Marsh welcomes Botham to the wicket)

    Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?
    (Marshall to Boon after he'd played and missed)

    We make a good pair, don't we? I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl.
    (Robin Smith to Merv Hughes)

    "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit"
    (Glen McGrath and Eddo Brandes)

    "In my view they have done the right thing by bringing a fit team, rather than bringing injured players."
    (Sourav Ganguly on Pakistan)

    By Blogger @mit, at 15:48  

  • England batsman John Crawley,educated at Cambridge University, was reportedly on the receiving end of
    delinquent disrespect from one bunch of likely lads, at least one of whom was as young as 10. And he'd had enough! "Don't they teach you manners at school?" he inquired plaintively. "No, mate," came the reply. "But they teach us how to beat your lot at cricket."

    By Blogger Mahesh, at 16:10  

  • the response against john crawley was actually by a kid in school during the 2003 ashes trip in australia. It possibly wouldn't count as an actual on0field sledge, but was effective nonetheless!

    By Blogger Mahesh, at 16:13  

  • Amit,
    That joke on Sourav is probably as old as your grandmother. It was first heard on Chandrasekhar. Wonder why you didn't hear him before.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 16:13  

  • Hmmm, I remember this one - Chris Harris bowling to Daryl Cullinan in a Test Match and Adam Parore screaming "Well bowled Warnie!" in reference to Cullinan's troubles with Warne in a just concluded series.

    By Blogger anantha, at 16:22  

  • Anon - Thanks for wishing a long life to my granny. I had not heard it before. it was for Chandra ..... hmmm .... that is interesting in its own sense too isn't it? Chandra at least was not supposed to be a "batsman" so the joke is on Gangula da again....
    You know what, I think it was inappropriate on my part to put in a Joke even when PP said it was time pass...

    anyways -- anon
    Thanks again

    By Blogger @mit, at 17:33  

  • how about adding rss feeds too?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 18:10  

  • Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5 ounces." The next ball, Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground and replies, "Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"

    By Anonymous akr, at 23:08  

  • Speaking of Ravi Shastry, I wonder how many Indians missed out on being captains. I for one feel that between Shastri and Ganguly/others, Shastri would have made a great captain. Azhar was a huge mistake and Sachin a default...
    Probably he would have turned out to be Gavaskar but I feel not. Gavaskar was too defensive...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 01:19  

  • I dont exactlly remember the facts rightly..but the incident goes like this..
    This is from the time when Gavaskar was in top form of his life...
    some pakistani bowler was bowling a very good variation ... it was very difficult of others to make a diff between his normal ones and the googly..but when Gavaskar start facing him ..as soon he deliever the bowl ..gavaskar shouts "googly" and then hit it for runs...
    so it went on for quite some time ..and the bowler came to gavaskar and tells him.."sunil bhai, tumhe jitna maarna hai maar lo ..but yaar "googly" chilla chilla kar meri kyu waat laga rahe ho :-)

    By Anonymous Abhay, at 01:44  

  • the bowler was abdul qadir

    By Blogger Dhruv Deepak, at 02:08  

  • Of all the sledging to Indians , i remember Allan Donald had written in his autobiography
    "White Lightning" , "The only indian batsman who doesn't get affected bu sledging is Sachin Tendulkar, but rather starts to play really well , the more i sledged the more it was difficult to get him out"

    By Blogger Vijayendra, at 02:15  

  • When Nasser Hussian came in to bat, Shane Warne requested a fielder to be positioned right 'under his nose' to which Ian Healy replied "That could be anywhere within 3 miles mate!"...

    By Anonymous Saurabh wahi, at 02:17  

  • This is related to Ravi Shastry..
    in a match against westindies..he was playing well and was among runs..While facing one quicky he got Hit on his "box" and was all flat on the pitch in pain...at this point Viv Richards came to him and told him " Dude, give me the number of ur babe u were planning to go to a date today, u wont need that anyway now any more"

    By Anonymous abhay, at 05:16  

  • One more, but again sorry for the facts, i only remember the incident..it was like this..
    It was a pakistani batsman batting against one indian spinners..the batsman kept asking the spinners for his Hotel Room number, the spinner thought its just of those sledge and all ..so he kept ignoring..but when the batsman kept asking ..the bowler went to him and ask him what his problem was..to which the batsman replied.." I want to hit a six which goes directly to ur room"

    By Anonymous Abhay, at 05:21  

  • One that always has me laughing is an incident that happened in the local Scottish cricket league (not as oxymoronish as it sounds, believe me) that |I occasionally play in...
    This batsman kept repeatedly failing to connect bat to ball until the bowler screamed ''Do you want a f***ing bell attached to it, mate?!''


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 05:41  

  • This is with regard tot he chocalate bar quip that healy used to specialize in.Same incident batsman was a south african province player and the match was apractise match for the aussies.To the comment The guy replied no use Mate Boony will get there earlier!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 09:41  

  • How about Javed Miandad who was not known for his felicity with the English language but would deliberately fart when he was at the crease!!! I got this snippet from Rahul B's 'pundits from Pakistan."

    By Blogger mustt_mustt, at 10:39  

  • Here are some from an e-mail forward I got
    "Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat,the score is still zero."
    -Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras, 1983 Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2.And he thought there would be less pressure!
    New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"
    Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match Fred Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close-in fielders, whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fredie finds this objectionable. 'Ere, if you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"

    Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)
    "Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character,played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing an equally inept runner; "When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!" Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time." Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors.......both got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run,forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end.Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.
    Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!".

    By Blogger Kumara Raghavan, at 20:02  

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